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One question I regularly face is "how can I save my marriage if my spouse discovered my affair?"
In this video, I explain the most effective way to get there. Instead of forcing your spouse to immediately terminate their relationship, taking a more neutral approach will increase the chances of avoiding a divorce. If you are too energetic, it is the human nature that the other spouse backs down and asks for the divorce.
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Full transcript of the video:
Hi I am Michele Weiner Davis and I am the founder of DivorceBusting.com and the subject of today is about infidelity.
One question that people often ask me is "how can I save my marriage when I know my spouse has an affair?"
Sometimes it's simple and sometimes it's not that simple. Let me talk about the simplest situation first. I just had a couple this week where the woman was having an affair and the husband snooped a bit and found out that she had actually met this guy in another town and he was devastated and l & # 39; faced with this, and she was so remorseful. She loves her husband. She does not really know how it happened. She made a bad choice. She would do anything to save her marriage.
Then, it is clearer what to do to save the marriage, because she was ready to give up this business and to give up the cold turkey. Then they could begin to heal and begin to rebuild the foundation of their relationship. He had the right to ask him to do everything he needed to do to comfort him.
However, many situations are not like that. A person discovers that the other has an affair and that his or her spouse is not willing to give up this case. When the spouse is confronted, they become very angry, defensive. "I can not believe you were spying, that's my life". Let's face it, then you have no leverage. You have a choice to make. You can dry a line in the sand and say that I will not stand that, "you have to end this business or it's over." Chances are, I tell you, nobody likes to be pushed into a corner. You may end your marriage.
If you want to save your marriage, you have to do something counterintuitive. It will take all your strength. It will be the most difficult thing you have ever done. You must back down, you must give some space to your spouse. Because most business ends in 6 months. It's a complicated thing, because you have to focus on your own life and not put pressure on your spouse to end their affair. Sometimes you have to have expert advice to hold your hand and guide you in this way so that you know exactly what to do.
It is there that the coach of Divorce Busting can really be helpful. They will give you a step-by-step map of what you need to say or what you need to do, and especially what you do not need to say or do to your spouse who has an affair. So, test the waters. You can fight your spouse, but if your spouse is giving you a hard time, do not put pressure on your spouse. You can really make things worse. A line in the sand can mean the end of your wedding. Consider using a divorce divorce coach to help you find your way.
Video credits to Divorce Busting YouTube channel