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Hi guys, Brad Browning here with another video Mend the Marriage. Today, I am going to cover 7 tips that will help you save your marriage, even if we have already talked about divorce.
Now, before I start, I'd like to introduce myself in case it's the first time you've ever met one of my YouTube videos. As mentioned, I'm calling Brad Browning and I am a relationship coach and a wedding expert. I'm also known for my Mend the Marriage program, which teaches people like you how to rebuild your relationship with your spouse, and ideally save your marriage.
After watching this video, I encourage you to leave your comments or questions in the section below. I always do my best to reply to all comments, so feel free to share your comments.
OK, let's start. You know the saying: "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes happy forever"? End of story, right? Not quite … While it's true that couples relax a bit after making their vows and knotted the knot, the reality is that they can also find themselves bewildered if their fairy tale begins to escape.
Many people think that marriage is about marrying the right person, so when things start to go wrong, they start to worry that they have accidentally married the wrong person. Although you want to marry someone with whom you are compatible, marriage has a lot less to do with marrying the right person than doing the right things with the person you have married. In other words, relationships are a constant work in progress. If your wedding seems to be rocky, try these tips to restore the happy bond that made you say "I do" in the first place.
One common assumption is that it takes both partners to save their marriage. It sounds reasonable, but it's not true. Unless your spouse has truly and completely abandoned the relationship, it is possible for you to make enough changes to save the marriage. Maybe not immediately, but over time, it's inevitable that the unhappy partner will notice the positive change in your behavior and respond to it.
Whether you know it or not, you and your spouse communicate in a revolving stimulus, a response scheme if you want. This means that when you do or say something, the stimulus and your partner react, and then you react to their reaction, and so on. The same thing happens when your partner says or does something … you two have built a pattern of actions and habitual reactions over time.
Since a couple is made up of two people, a change in the behavior of one person will impact the other, and therefore the whole relationship. When the stimulus changes, there will be a new, different answer. This new answer will provoke another new and different answer. If that happens enough, a new pattern of behavior will emerge. Assuming that the new actions and reactions are positive, the relationship takes a positive turn.
For example, if you have been habitually disrespectful to your spouse, she will have developed some kind of reaction or coping mechanism. If you stop disrespectful behavior, it will not need to use its coping mechanism, and its reaction to you will be random.
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Video credits to Brad Browning YouTube channel